Happy Donald Swain Day

Wishing all fellow Textpattern users, the world over, a Happy Donald Swain Day.

Dean Cameron Allen

For all you non Textpattern users tuning in, Donald Swain is the fictional person who leaves the very first comment, exclaiming “I enjoy your site very much”, on our brand new website installs.

Mr. Donald Swain made his appearance in the Textpattern code base 10 years ago today. You can thank the fellow pictured here for the Donald spam, nobody knows the significance of the name.

When I launched this site back in January of 2006, I enabled comments, but there’s way too many people out there with money in foreign banks that are having a hard time withdrawing their funds and need my assistance.

Spam, the scourge of the Internet, I hates it with a passion.

If you’re reading this article, on a fairly new computer, and haven’t a clue how it works, chances are some spammer is using your machine and your fat pipe to the Internet to deliver me spam. Yes, you’re likely 0wned.

There in lies the problem, we give out driving tests, but anybody can pick up what amounts to a super computer these days, throw it on a broadband connection and get to Facebooking.

The men are the worst, cause the first place they go to are Porn sites, which are full of Flash scripts ready to take over their computer and web camera. So while they’re wanking off to Miss Big Fat Booty, some guy half way around the world is recording them for their site’s Gay section.

Donald says “I enjoy your tool very much” ;)

Tired of lying in the sunshine staying home to watch the rain
You are young and life is long and there is time to kill today