TV Guide

When I was young, I couldn’t wait for the TV Guide to arrive in the mail.

TV Guide

Those days were magical, circling the programs I wanted to watch that week, eagerly and patiently awaiting their transmission to my rabbit ears.

Saturday mornings were filled with cartoons, rat-a-tat-tat went the channel dial as I tried to keep up with two broadcasts between commercials.

By midnight, all you got was snow or a test pattern signaling that it was time to switch off the TV and go to sleep or read the TV Guide.

I confess, I was a TV junkie, as were many of us.

There wasn’t much to do back then, yeah I could go out back into the yard and shoot my BB-gun or play with my GI-Joe’s, but ultimately I just wanted to veg out on the plastic covered sofa and watch TV.

You see, TV took me places, the wild west, space, the battlefield. I could recreate it in the backyard, but it wasn’t the same, no matter how many firecrackers I lit off under the action figures, or how many times I shot my grandmother in the ass with the BB-gun.

As I laid on my bed last night watching Cosmos on my tablet, with my wife next to me streaming Days of Our Lives on her laptop, I caught a glimpse of the 40 inch 1080p LED TV in our bedroom. It’s not used much these days, we have other means to satisfy our cravings.

The TV Guide is not needed anymore, we control the dial.

There is nothing wrong with your television set. Do not attempt to adjust the picture. We are controlling transmission. If we wish to make it louder, we will bring up the volume. If we wish to make it softer, we will tune it to a whisper. We can reduce the focus to a soft blur, or sharpen it to crystal clarity. We will control the horizontal. We will control the vertical. For the next hour, sit quietly and we will control all that you see and hear. You are about to experience the awe and mystery which reaches from the inner mind to… The Outer Limits.