Billigan's Trial

I wrote this song parody 8 years ago, after the Microsoft monopolization ruling was handed down by Judge Jackson. It was published on osOpinion, a website run by Kelly McNeill that featured user contributed material.

To the tune of the “Gilligan’s Island” theme song:

Just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale
A tale of a federal frisk
That started back in 1990
About this tiny disk

The chief was a mighty marketing man
The Skippy far from demure
Five directors sent mail that day
Let’s get even with Gore, get even with Gore

The government started getting tough
The tiny disk was tossed
If not for the lawyers of the fearless crew
The Winnow would be lost, the Winnow would be lost

The disk set down on the docket of this
Appellate appeals trial
With Billigan, the Skippy too
A billionaire, and his assistant
A movie exec
The Programmer and Melissa
Here on Billigan’s Trial

So this is the tale of our castaways
They’re here for a long, long trial
They’ll have to make the best of things
While their lawyers file

The first chief and his Skippy, too
Will do their very best
To make the investors comfortable
In their desire to divest

No bones, no fights, no vendor wars
Not a single trickery
Like stifling Crusoe
It’s primitive as can be

So join us here each week, my friends
You’ll never get a smile
From seven stranded castaways
Here on Billigan’s Trial